Its Official

I. Will. Never. Sleep. Naked. Again.

This morning, I woke up all productive-like on my day off and started with laundry. I dumped my clean clothes on the bed and folded them. I even went out of my way to pick up the big piece of lint I spotted on the bed.

Except, the big piece of lint came to life in my fingers and started squiggling around. I shit you not.

GIANT SPIDER!!

Yes. And oh, I freaked out so royally. I chucked that spider across the room (aerodynamic, indeed). It bounced off the wall onto the floor, where it lay for a full 5 minutes while I did the screaming idiot-woman dance.

There's something about not knowing it's a spider when you pick it up that makes the whole experience worse. It's like the scene in a horror movie when the killer silently watches his victim before attacking.

And then, of course, I started having a domino thought pattern that went: oh crap, that piece of "lint" has been there for awhile...I saw it when I first got up this morning and was just too lazy to throw it out. Oh shit, it was there while I was sleeping. Oh SHIT, I slept naked last night!

The places that spider may have been!

Ugh.