Oh Please

My (guy) friend just changed his Facebook status to "the barrier has been broken, and I'm upset I didn't do it first." Which sounded bizarre and vaguely sexual enough to require investigation.

When I asked, he informed me the barrier is "the L word". Okay, first of all if you're still calling it "the L word" you probably have no business using it. I'm just saying. And second of all? These two crazy cats have only been dating for three weeks.

And she lives in Switzerland!

So I'm gonna go ahead and call shenanigans. Far be it from me to downplay the power of love, but this is the same guy who's last girlfriend was a socially excommunicated, bitchy troll. (No, that is not an objective opinion. That is FACT) They too were using "the L word" almost immediately, and offensively, if you ask me.

There should be some kind of test people take to screen for emotional soundness, maturity, and independence before they can use "the L word". Like passing The Bar Exam or getting your driver's license. You can say it, but -- much like practicing law without passing The Bar -- it doesn't mean squat until you pass a test proving you know your stuff. And like driving, one would be ticketed for uttering without a license and/or abusing the privilege.

The barrier is broken. Please.

When I Grow Up...

...I want to be Anne Lamott. She is brilliant.

"I've heard someone say that our problems aren't the problem; it's our solutions that are the problem," Anne Lamott reflects. "That tends to be one thing that goes wrong for me—my solutions."