He

He grabs me with sense-shattering force
Hands firm, purpose, no distraction
It looks like surrender
It feels like the end of me

I pretend to be alive
In control

Fingers and nails digging the wall
my anchor, my confidante.
I whisper and it holds the words
burying them in the grainy, white paint

He wishes I were different
I know what he means

He wants a challenge
I am only shoes-glued-to-the-floor
Mind numb, useless
Body on its own

But none of it is as bad as the truth
The terrible, heaving, monster-truth

I'm afraid he will leave.

And then it's just me
sitting inside myself, unable to crawl out
thinking things that Grow Ugly
A dirty, huddled mess

i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

--ee cummings